A mother held her new baby and
very slowly rocked him back and forth,
back and forth, back and forth.
And while she held him, she sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll love you for always.
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
The baby grew. He grew and he grew
and he grew. He grew until he
was two years old, and he ran all around
the house. He pulled all the books
off the shelves. He pulled all the food
out of the refrigerator and he took his
mother's watch and flushed it down the
toilet. Sometimes his mother would say,
"This kid is driving me CRAZY!"
But at night time, when that two-year-
old was quiet, she opened the door
to his room, crawled across the floor;
looked up over the side of his bed;
and if he was really asleep she picked
him up and rocked him back and forth,
back and forth, back and forth.
And while she held him, she sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll love you for always.
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
The little boy grew. He grew and grew
And he grew. He grew until he was
nine years old. And he never wanted to come
in for dinner, he never wanted to take a bath,
and when grandma visited he always
said bad words. Sometimes his mother
wanted to sell him to the zoo!
But at night time, when he was
asleep, the mother quietly opened the
door to his room, crawled across
the floor and looked up over the side of
the bed. If he was really was asleep,
she picked up that nine-year-old boy
and rocked him back and forth,
back and forth, back and forth.
And while she held him, she sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll love you for always.
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
The boy grew. He grew and he
grew and he grew. He grew until he was
a teenager. He had strange clothes and he
listened to strange music.
Sometimes his mother felt like she
was in a zoo!
But at night time, when that teenager
was asleep, she opened the door
to his room, crawled across the
floor and looked up over the side
of his bed. If he was really asleep she
picked up that great big boy and rocked
him back and forth, back and forth,
back and forth.
And while she held him, she sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll love you for always.
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
That teenager grew. He grew and he
grew and he grew. He grew until
he was a grown-up man. He left home
and got a house across town.
But sometimes on dark nights
the mother got into her car and drove
across town.
If all the lights in her son’s house
were out, she opened his bedroom
window, crawled across the floor,
looked up over the side of his bed.
If that great big man was really
asleep she picked him up and rocked
him back and forth, back and forth,
back and forth.
And while she held him, she sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll love you for always.
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
Well, that mother, she got older.
She got older and older and older.
One day she called up her son and said,
“You’d better come see me because
I’m very old and sick.”
So her son came to see her.
When he came in the door she tried
to sing the song. She sang:
I love you forever,
I love you for always…
But she couldn’t finish because she
was to old and sick.
The son went to his mother.
He picked her up and rocked her
back and forth, back and forth,
back and forth.
And he sang this song:
I'll love you forever,
I'll love you for always.
As long as I'm living
my Mommy you'll be.
When the son came home
that night, he stood for a long time
at the top of the stairs.
Then he went into the room
where his very new baby daughter
was sleeping. He picked her up in
his arms and very slowly rocked
her back and forth, back and forth,
back and forth.
And while he rocked her he sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll love you for always.
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
My forgetter's getting better,
But my rememberer is broke. To you that may seem
funny But, to me, that is no joke.
For when I'm 'here' I'm wondering
If I really should be 'there', And when I try to
think it through, I haven't got a prayer!
Oft times I walk into a room,
Say 'what am I here for?' I wrack my brain, but
all in vain! A zero is my score. At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee! The person it is
safest from Is generally, me! When shopping I may see someone,
Say 'Hi' and have a chat, Then, when the person
walks away I ask myself, 'who the heck was that?'
Yes, my forgetter's getting better
While my rememberer is broke, And it's driving me
plumb crazy And that isn't any joke.
CAN
YOU RELATE???
Please send this to everyone you know
because IDON'T REMEMBER WHO ISENT THIS TO!
1 cup of
water 1 tsp baking
soda 1 cup of
sugar 1 tsp
salt 1 cup or brown
sugar 4 large
eggs 1 cup
nuts 2 cups of dried
fruit 1 bottle Jose Cuervo
Tequila
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large
bowl, check the
Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest
quality, pour
one level cup and drink. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of
butter in a
large fluffy bowl.
Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this
point it's best
to make sure the Cuervo is still ok, try
another cup
just in case.
Turn off the mixerer
thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the
cup of dried
fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off the
floor. Mix on the
turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just
pry it loose
with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for
tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who
geeves a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your
nuts. Add one
table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find. Greash the
oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try
not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the
turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish
the Cose Juervo
and make sure to put the stove in the
wishdasher. Cherry
Mistmas !
READ TO THE BOTTOM FOR QUOTE OF THE
MONTH BY JAY LENO. IF YOU DON'T READ ANYTHING ELSE---VERY WELL STATED
TO
ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!
First, we survived
being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were
pregnant.
They took
aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get
tested for diabetes.
Then after that
trauma we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with
bright colored lead-based paints.
We
had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and
when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks
we took hitchhiking.
As infants
&children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats,
seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of
a pickup on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from
the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We
shared one soft dr ink with four friends, from one bottle and NO
ONE actually died from this.
We ate
cupcakes, white br ead and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with
sugar, but we weren't overweight because,
WE WERE
ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
We would leave home
in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the
streetlights came on.
No one was able to
reach us all day. And we were O. K.
We
would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then
ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes! After
running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the
problem.
We did not have
Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150
channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or
CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no I nternet or chat
rooms......
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and
found them!
We fell out of
trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from
these accidents.
We ate worms and
mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB
guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis
balls and, although we were told i t would happen, we did not poke
out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or
walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell,
or just walked in and talked to them!
Little League
had tryout and not everyone made the team. T hose who didn't had to
learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a
parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They
actually sided with the law!
These generations
have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and
inventors ever!
The past 50 years
have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We
had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
If YOU are one
them, CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want
to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids,
before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our
lives for our own good
.
While you are at it, forward it to
your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.
Kind
of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't
it?!
The quote of the
month is by Jay Leno:
'With hurricanes, tornados,
fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms
tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of
bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to
take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'
For
those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us...go
ahead and delete this.
For the rest of us...pass this
ON!
Posted: Wednesday, 10 December, 2008 at 7:45:19 PM
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to
squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to
death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to
its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the
length of a football field. (30 minutes... Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy
facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe
even a chuckle.
In other words, send it to everyone !
(and I love that
pig!)
The embers glowed
softly, and in their dim light, I gazed round the room and I
cherished the sight. My wife was asleep, her head on my
chest, My daughter beside me, angelic in rest. Outside the
snow fell, a blanket of white, Transforming the yard to a winter
delight.
The
sparkling lights in the tree I believe, Completed the magic that
was Christmas Eve. My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was
deep, Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep. In perfect
contentment, or so it would seem, So I slumbered, perhaps I
started to dream.
The
sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near, But I opened my eyes
when it tickled my ear. Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite
know, Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow. My
soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear, And I crept to the door
just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark
of the night, A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old, Perhaps a
Marine, huddled here in the cold. Alone in the dark, he looked up
and smiled, Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.
'What are you doing?'
I asked without fear, 'Come in this moment, it's freezing out
here! Put down your pack, brush the snow from your
sleeve, You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!' For
barely a moment I saw his eyes shift, Away from the cold and the
snow blown in drifts.
To the window that danced with a warm
fire's light Then he sighed and he said, 'Its really all right, I'm out
here by choice. I'm here every night.' 'It's my duty to stand at
the front of the line, That separates you from the darkest of
times.
No one had to
ask or beg or implore me, I'm proud to stand here like my fathers
before me. My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in
December,' Then he sighed, 'That's a Christmas 'Gram always
remembers.' My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam,’ And now it is my turn and so,
here I am.
I've not
seen my own son in more than a while, But my wife sends me
pictures, he's sure got her smile. Then he bent and he carefully
pulled from his bag, The red, white, and blue... an American
flag. I can live through the cold and the being alone, Away
from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the
rain and the sleet, I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another, Or lay down my
life with my sister and brother, Who stand at the front against
any and all, To ensure for all time that this flag will not
fall.'
'So go back
inside,' he said, 'harbor no fright, Your family is waiting and
I'll be all right.' 'But isn't there something I can do, at the
least, 'Give you money,' I asked, 'or prepare you a feast? It
seems all too little for all that you've done, For being away
from your wife and your son.'
Then his eye welled a tear that held
no regret, 'Just tell us you love us, and never forget. To
fight for our rights back at home while we're gone, To stand your
own watch, no matter how long. For when we come home, either
standing or dead, To know you remember we fought and we
bled. Is payment enough, and with that we will trust, That we
mattered to you as you mattered to us.'
PLEASE, would you
do me the kind favor of sending this to as manypeople as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and
some credit is due to ourU.S
service men and women for our
being able to celebrate thesefestivities. Let's try
in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our
heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us.
A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to
a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the
driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your
Rolls? I've got one in my Yugo!"
The driver of Rolls looks over and says
simply, "Yes I have a phone."
The driver of the Yugo says, "Cool! Hey,
you got a fridge in there too? I've got a fridge in the back seat of my Yugo!"
The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a
refrigerator."
The driver of the Yugo says, "That's great, man! Hey, you
got a TV in there, too? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!"
The driver of the Rolls, looking very annoyed by now, says, "Of course I
have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!"
The driver of the Yugo says, "Very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in
there, too? I got a bed in the back of my Yugo!" Upset that he did not have a
bed, the driver of the Rolls-Royce sped away, and went straight to the dealer,
where he promptly ordered that a bed be installed in the back of the Rolls.
The next morning, the driver of the Rolls picked up the car, and the bed
looked superb, complete with silk sheets and brass trim. It was clearly a bed
fit for a Rolls Royce.
So the driver of the Rolls begins searching for
the Yugo, and he drove all day. Finally, late at night, he finds the Yugo
parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. The driver of the Rolls
got out and knocked on the Yugo.
When there wasn't any answer, he
knocked and knocked, and eventually the owner stuck his head out, soaking wet.
"I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls stated
arrogantly.
The driver of the Yugo looked at him and said, "You got me
out of the shower to tell me THIS?"
